Funny how it’s still true that “what goes around comes around.”
I had the great privilege of performing a vow renewal for Kathy and Craig, a couple that had actually got married in the same spot…15 years earlier! It got me thinking about how Vow Renewals have such a special meaning. They mean that this marriage has passed the test of time!
When a couple asks me to perform a vow renewal it tells me that they have created a wonderful marriage for both of them. It means that they have successfully played the role of husband and the role of wife, and given the other the respect and consideration a happy and enduring marriage requires.
Each has done the work to create peace, harmony and joy. This is not to say how much work, or what kind of work was needed, because every person and every couple is different. It does say that the commitment each made to the other (and to themselves) was honored and expanded.
People nowadays often speak ill of the marriage commitment, saying it is outmoded or unnecessary. But I remember what one of my couples told me after more than 40 years of marriage. They said that when they got married they promised each other they would not leave, no matter what. They made a firm commitment and kept it, and did so in a spirit of love. Today they still hold hands and gaze into each others’ eyes. And the bonus is that they spirits underwent deep personal growth individually and as a couple. They came through the sticky times that growth requires, and their commitment brought them through it all to enjoy the great marriage they have today: they are still happy, in love, and romantic with one another.
Society today makes it easy to bail out and fade away if you change your mind. This can be a shame. What would it be like to grow old with the one you love? To walk hand in hand and heart in heart with smiles on your faces for the next 40 years or so? A firm commitment to your marriage can help you make this dream come true.